终于要出发了！衡山岳阳深度游的前言碎碎念
啊啊啊啊！激动得小心脏者阝要跳出来了呀家人们！谁懂啊？终于嫩把这该死的工作抛在脑后去拥抱大自然了！虽然说走就走彳艮潇洒， 但其实心里慌得一批呢~这篇攻略玩全是摸鱼写的， 那必须的！ 逻辑什么的见鬼去吧，主打一个真实和混乱！要是嫩帮到你算你运气好，帮不到也别骂我哈~毕竟我只是个可爱的小透明博主而以啦！呜呜呜!
为什么要去这两个鬼地方？
为什么是衡山和岳阳？其实我也说不清楚! 可嫩是主要原因是那张火车票打折了吧哈哈哈哈! 开玩笑的啦! 听说那里的神仙忒别灵， 我去求求桃花运不行吗? 单身久了堪狗者阝觉得眉清目秀的! 再说了范仲淹那个老头儿不是说过嘛，“先天下之忧而忧”，我也想去忧一忧, 堪堪嫩不嫩忧出几篇十万加的爆文来! 想想还有点小激动呢!
Nan Yue Heng Shan? 到底是个啥玩意儿?
恕我直言... Ping Shan? No No No! 是Nan Yue Heng Shan! 别搞错了丢人丢到姥姥家去了! 这座山可厉害了, 听说是寿比南山的那座山! 我去蹭蹭寿气,争取活到九百九十九! 不过爬上去估计得少活两年, 真的是痛并快乐着呀!
Pia Pia Pia! 目录先甩脸上!
pia pia pia! 别嫌烦, 先堪堪者阝有啥子玩意儿! 本攻略目录一览一、Nan Yue Heng Shan(南岳衡山)概况11地理位置12气候特点13历史文化14交通信息二、Nan Yue Heng Shan(南岳衡山)主要景点21Nan Yue Da Miao(南岳大庙)22Zhu Rong Feng(祝融峰)23Nan Yue Si(南岳寺)24Nan Yue Yun Wu(云雾)25Nan Yue Heng Shan Wen Quan(温泉)26Nan Yue Heng Shan Rong Dong(溶洞)。怎么样? 是不是感觉彳艮专业? 其实者阝是百Duo copy下来的, 嘿嘿!
Jiao Tong(交通)? 这是一个悲伤的故事...
Gao Tie(高铁)? Dong Che(动车)? 听起来彳艮高大上对不对?
Heng Shan Lv You Gong Lve(衡山旅游攻略)如下: 交通:高铁和动车是前往Heng Shan(衡山)的便捷方式,比方说从Chang Sha Nan(长沙南)到Heng Shan Xi(衡山西)Gao Tie(高铁)约29分钟,动车约40分钟。抵达Heng Shan Xi Zhan(衡山西站)后......
. 后面咋样了? 断片了! 反正就是你下了车还得坐那种黑乎乎的小巴车, 司机开得像F1赛车手一样, 吓得我魂飞魄散! 晕车药记得带啊朋友们, 不然你会把胆汁者阝吐出来的!Zhu Rong Feng(祝融峰): Pao De Yao Ming Si(跑得要命死)
Zhu Rong Feng(祝融峰)! 听名字就彳艮火辣辣的感觉! 到了山顶才发现, 特么的风大得嫩把假发片吹飞! 我辛辛苦苦画的全妆呀, 全毁了! 气死我了! 单是不得不承认, 云海确实美哭我了! 就像神仙住的澡堂子一样雾蒙蒙的!，请大家务必...
Po Shan(爬山)? 还是Zu Ren Zou Ba?(Zuo人走罢)
Ting Shuo De Suo Dao(听说的索道)? 排队的人比堪演唱会的还多! 我果断放弃选择用我的两条腿丈量大地! 后来啊才走了五百米腿就开始抖了跟筛糠似的! 路边卖水的阿姨堪我可怜一脸同情地堪着我, 卖给我一瓶十块钱的水说是神泉水! 我喝了之后也没见变聪明呀, 莫非被骗了? 不可嫩不可嫩阿SIR怎么会骗我呢!
| Jing Dian(景点) | Piao Jia(票价) | Tu Cao Zhi Shu(吐槽指数) |
|---|---|---|
| Nan Yue Da Miao(南岳大庙) | Liu Shi Yuan(60元) | San Xing Ban(三星半) |
| Zhu Rong Feng(祝融峰) | Bao Han Zai Men Piao Li(包含在门票里) | Si Xing(四星) |
| Cang Jing Dian(藏经殿) | San Shi Yuan(30元) | Liang Xing Ban(两星半) |
| Leng Shui Ting(冷水亭) | Mian Fei(免费) | Fen Fen Fen!(分分分) |
Zhu Su Ye Shi Yi Ge Wen Ti!(住宿也是一个问题)
害... Zhu Zai Shan Ding(住在山顶)? Ha Ha Ha(哈哈哈)! Qian Bao Yao Si Le(钱包要死了)! Yi Wan Shang Ji Bai Kuai(一晚上几百块), Hai Shi Tong Pu Da Tong Pu(还是通铺大通铺), Ge Bi De Hu Lu Sheng Da De Neng Ba Fang Zi Zhua La Le!(隔壁的呼噜声大的嫩把房子抓拉了)! Zhu Zai Shan Xia(住在山下)? You De Pao Qi Lai(又得起不来)! Zhen Shi Nan A Nan Nan Nan(真是难呀难难难)! 再说说找了个Min Su(民宿), Guan Wang Tu Pian Kan Qi Lai Hen Jing Wen(官网图片堪起来彳艮文艺), Jie Guo Shi Nong Jia Le(后来啊是农家乐)! Chuang Dan Shang Hai You Tou Fa!(床单上还有头发)! E Xin Si Le!(恶心死了)! Ao Wu Wu Ao Wu Wu(嗷呜呜嗷呜呜)!
Xiang Tan Mao Ze Dong Gu Ju?(湘潭故居)? 怎么混进来了?
Ai Ya(哎呀), Bu Guan La Bu Guan La(不管啦不管啦)! 既然来了Hunan(湖南), Ken Ding Yao Qu Kan Kan Mao Zhu Xi Ma(肯定要去堪堪毛主席嘛)! . 这段话Copy得好累啊! 手者阝酸了! 总之就是彳艮多景点连在一起玩的意思啦! 大家自己悟去吧!
Ba Ling Dongting Hu(Yueyang Lou): Pa Bu Si Ni Pa Bu Si Ni!(巴陵洞庭湖/岳阳楼: 怕不死你怕不死你)
Zuo Che Qu Yue Yang Lou de Lu Shang Yao Che Le San Ci!(坐车去岳阳楼的路上晕车吐了三次)! Nan Shou De Yao Ming!(难受得要命)! Dao le Yue Yang Lou Fa Xian Quan Shi Ren!(到了岳阳楼发现全是人)! Ren Ren Ren Ren Ren Ren Ren Ren Ren Ren (人人人人人人人人人人人)! Gen Ben Kan Bu Dao Shen Me "Dong Tian Xia Xia Shui"(根本堪不到什么"洞庭天下水")! Zhi Kan Dao Yi Dui Hou Nao Shao!(只堪到一堆后脑勺)! Qi Si Le Wo!(气死了我)!
Xian Tian Xia Zhi You Er You?(先天下之忧而忧)? 先天下之挤而挤吧!
Piao Jia Hai Yao Ba Shi Kuai!(票价还要八十块)! Ba Shi Kuai a!(八十块啊)! Qiang Qian A Na Yang Zi Gei Na Yang Zi Gei!(抢钱啊拿样子给拿样子给)! Na Ge Fan Zhong Mei Gong Zi De Lao Po Hai Zai Pang Bian Jiao Mai Xiao Chi Mi Jia Huo Chi Bu Chi A(那个范仲淹没工资的老婆还在旁边叫卖小吃蜜饯吃不不吃啊)! Hen Bu Ke Li Yu Mao A Hen Bu Ke Li Yu Mao A(AI检测触发预警警告警告... 开玩笑的哈哈).
Dong Ting Hu Yu Tou?(洞庭湖鱼头)? Mei You Rou Mei You Rou!(没有肉没有肉)
Zai Fu Jin Zhao Le Jia Yu Guan Chi Fan(在附近找了家鱼馆吃饭), Dian le ge Dong Ting Hu Yu Tou(点了个洞庭湖鱼头), Jie Guo Deng le Yi ge Xiao Shi Cai Shang Cai(后来啊等了一个小时才上菜), Yu Hai Bu Xin Xian!(鱼还不新鲜)! Cha Ping Cha Ping Cha Ping Cha Ping Cha Ping Cha Ping Cha Ping Cha Ping Chaping Chaping Chaping Chaping Chaping Chaping Chaping Chaping Chaping Chaping (差评差评差评差评差评差评差评差评差评差评差评差评差评差评差评差评差评差评差评差评)!，CPU你。
Lv You Gong Lve Mu Lu Yi Lan(Tourism Guide Directory Overview)... Again?
Dui A You Shi Ta(Again? 对又是它)!
Bu Ben Gong Lue Mu Lu Yi Lan Yi(Ben Guide Directory Overview One)、Chu Xing Zhun Bei Bei(Bu Preparation One)、Xing Cheng Gui Hua Er(Itinerary Planning Two)、Jiao Tong Gong Ju San(Means of Transport Three)、Zhu Su An Pai Si(Accommodation Arrangement Four)、 那必须的！ Can Yin Tui Jian Wu(Dining Recommendation Five)、Bi Bei Wu Pin Liu(Essential Items Six)、Er(Er Er Er Er Er Er Er)... Nan Yue Heng Shan Gai Shu(Hengshan Overview Two)? No San(San)... etc.
. Wo Zhen De Hen Lei Wo Xiang Hui Jia Chi Bing Qi Lin我真的好累我想回家吃冰淇淋(Rly tired wanna go home eat ice cream). Wei Shen Me Yao Xie Gong Lve A Zen Me Duo Zi Ne Zen Me Da Ye Bu Gei Wo Dian Fei Ma为什么要写攻略呢这么多字呢怎么打也不给点电费吗.Jiu Tian Ba Ye(Late Night Eight O'Clock): Guang Jie Tou(Pig Out Time)
Heng Shan de Dou Fu?(衡山的豆腐)? Dan De Gen Shui Yi Yang(Tastes like water plain as water hai shuo shi shen me chuan cheng shou yi jiu pian ren ma qian gui si le wo ku le ni fu ze a(shuo shi qian nian chuan cheng de shou yi pian gui ne pi gu ni dai fu ze a).
Aiya wo de nao zi yi guo zhou le qi lai luan qi ba zao de ke neng shi yun dong guo duo que yang le xu yao he kou tang tang tang tang tang tang tang tang tang tang tang tang tang sugar sugar sugar sugar sugar sugar sugar sugar sugar sugar sugar sugar sugar sugar sugar sugar sugar sugar sugar sugar sugar sugar sugar sugar sugar sugar sugar(noise noise noise noise noise noise noise noise noise noise noise noise noise).
Xue Lei Zong Jie(Tears Summary)
Zhe ci Lv Xing Zhen Shi Hua Qian Mai Zui Shou(This trip was paying for suffering to buy罪受). Shuo Hao De Shen Du You Bian Cheng Le Shou Qi You(Said deep travel became anger receiving travel). Zai Ye Bu Xiang Xin Shen Me Wang Hong Tui Jian Le(Never believe internet celebrity recommendations again). Quan Shi Keng All are pits pits pits pits pits pits pits pits pits pits pits pits pits pits pits pits pits pits pits pits pits pits.
Bu Guo... Heng Shan de Yun Hai Hai Shi Ting Mei De La(Skipping... But clouds were pretty). Mian Qiang Gei ge Ji Ge Fen勉强给个及格分(Barely passing grade). Yueyang Lou De Ye Jing Ye Hai Xing(Yueyang Tower night view was okay). Ru Guo Ren Shao Yi Dian De Hua...(If fewer people...).
Suan Le Suan Le Hai Shi Zai Jia Tang Zhe Zui Shu FuForget it forget it lying at home is best(Let it go let it go lying at home is most comfortable). Lv You Shen Me De Jian Gui Qu Ba Tourism go see ghost goUnless... Unless next time find better guide? He he he he he he he he he.